4 Steps to Teaching Your Family to Treat You Better, New Year's Resolutions? Access the best success, personal development, health, fitness, business, and financial advice....all for FREE! These two approaches are widely used in businesses as well as normal day to day lives of people. A weed can be cut off, but it will soon grow back. Feelings of shame or embarrassment of your REACTION may well haunt you. But, it is likely that later on you are going to regret losing your cool. This has also lead to poetry. These cover psychology and communication. However, the ego mind wants to avoid them at all costs and will do all it can to get away from them. Most of the time, the button-pushing is more about them than you----but now always (scroll down to the end of this article to find out if IT IS ABOUT YOU). Be the bigger person, simmer down, and don't react. Rather than identifying your discomfort, or querying for clarification, you say something disdainful. Tell her how delicious her pie is (if you like it) otherwise don't say anything. The bystander seldom gets emotional, he isn't normally reactive, although he might raise his eyebrows or be slightly amused at the antics of others. Certainly, there will be times when you feel that you cannot stay silent and that what you perceive as an injustice or another type behavior that needs to addressed. Meanwhile, enjoy spending time with your family. The key difference between proactive and reactive strategies is that the proactive strategy is avoiding the situation by foreseeing, whereas reactive strategy is responding after an incident has occurred.. You can’t keep blaming everything on your parents or grandparents. One of my intentions is to be a catalyst to others, as other people have been and continue to be to me. It's not your job to mop up problems that aren't yours. Habit 1: Be Proactive is about taking responsibility for your life. The first examples are emotions that usually get projected outwards and the second list are emotions that usually become interjected. But, don't be so ready to disregard irritating comments made by button pushers. And yet if this has become something that takes over one’s life - it will create problems. In other words, take yourself out of the equation. Reactive people think that stimulus and response are inextricably connected. This is not a bad or negative thing per se; it is just what the ego mind does to ensure survival. As well as writing articles and creating poetry, I also offer personal coaching. If it is a response it will be coming from a place of awareness and self control. Based on their interpretations of what they are experiencing, their reaction seems appropriate. This is often described as something that should be low on the scale and end up being way up. Your sister-in-law didn't show up to the family reunion with a made-from-scratch apple pie to make your store-bought banana cake look bad. Take a step back whenever you begin to feel pressure from those emotional button pushers. Instead of blaming the other person or giving your power over to a situation pull back and try to look at the circumstance differently Take on the stance of a bystander. These emotions have become trapped due to the avoidance of them, they need to be faced and released. The challenge is that the interpretations that are made from the ego minds associations may be completely wrong and this is what is leading to the reactive behaviour. This means that how something is interpreted is a subjective thing. Your reactive behavior then makes the situation worse. But this won’t last for long and needs to be constantly undertaken. And what if she did? There is not an exact science to it, and several classroom management techniques may need to be tested before a teacher figures out what works best in their classroom. Workspirited gives a comparison between proactive vs. reactive techniques for business management, along with their definitions, characteristics, and some examples. Please Register or Login to post new comment. The ego mind interprets things based on the associations that it has formed. Perhaps a workplace colleague asks you a lot of questions about your idea and you perceive the inquiry as doubting your competence or authority. If it wasn’t for the reactive behaviour, other people may not even know that such strong emotions exist within the person. Reactive behaviors cannot be changed unless they are first acknowledged. Disclaimer: The information contained on this site is intended for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for advice, diagnosis or treatment by a licensed physician. On the other hand, proactive approach enables people to gauge or anticipate events and work accordingly to reap the rewards in a bigger manner. And will be the result of everything one has experienced up until that point. After you become more aware of why you feel the way you do perhaps suggest a time to talk about your differences in a neutral setting. Parents discipline their toddlers with "time outs" whenever they misbehave or any time they are having difficulty containing or managing their emotions. My name is Oliver J R Cooper and I have been on a journey of self awareness for over nine years and for many years prior to that I had a natural curiosity. All kinds of defence mechanisms will be used to do this. Traumatic experiences in ones adult life can be a factor here. Emotionally this could be to do with aggression, rage and showing heightened levels of anger. Nailing down classroom management is extremely important for teachers. So if the weather is foul, a reactive person will be in a foul mood, too. These phrases are shifting the blame to outside circumstances, getting rid of responsibility. Some people are blatant about their dramas, and it doesn't take a genius to learn not to get too worked up by their antics. Interventions — Preventive and Reactive Strategies . And so can traumatic experiences that one had as a child. She didn't! Corporate Team Building Unifies, Increases Job Satisfaction, and Productivity. Once the experience has been interpreted by the ego mind to match these associations, it triggers the emotions and this provides the fuel for the behaviour. Phylameana lila Desy, the author of "The Everything Guide to Reiki," is a freelance writer, holistic healing consultant, intuitive counselor, and an energy medicine practitioner. Reactive behaviour is then created through one acting on these emotions. How Mirroring Teaches Through Introspection, Meanings and Interpretations of Common Dreams, Bird Medicine: Totem Messages and Meanings, Soul Communication: Employ Your Soul as Mediator, How to Deal with the Drama Queens in Your Life, dueling gentleman employed a second for possible resolution, Mirrors are unconscious spiritual teachers. Dana Rooks, MEd & Emily Graybill, PhD, NCSP. Applied Behavior Analysis offers two effective ways to handle problem behavior: antecedent or proactive interventions, and consequence or reactive interventions. So this could be over reacting in a way that is an eight, then it reality it was only a two for example. Most things people do or say are not meant as personal attacks. Also, take note of the types of situations irritate, frustrate, or anger you. If a one-to-one conversation is likely to go nowhere, perhaps a mediator or ally needs to be present. Unfortunately we can wrongly perceive them to be. Staying Creative with Token Economies During Behavior … Your reactive behavior then makes the situation worse. To repress them or to react to them are two sides of the same coin. Certain rituals and habits then alleviate the emotions, like a pressure valve. The same occurrence appears again and again. Responsible for behavior, results and growth. How do you know when your buttons are being pushed by actions or comments made by other people if it is about you or about them? Also, take note of the types of situations irritate, frustrate, or anger you. Inner Child: Can Someone’s Wounded Inner Child Stop Them From Being Able To Embrace Life? >> See All Articles On Emotional Intelligence, How To Stop The Churning Mind: The Practice of Mindfulness, ***LOVING YOUR SELF – THE ONLY ROMANCE THAT COUNTS, ***Easy Ways to Improve Mental Toughness by Judi Moreo. 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